The trip to Colorado

For my last confirmation class my group secretly planned a party for me. Ms. Jeanne brought pizza and tons of chocolate. The best part about the party is that there was a Wii hooked up. I tried to play Mario Kart but my hand was super hard to pry open so I couldn't grab onto the controller. Another problem is that I hold the controller vertically instead of horizontally because I'm not good at having to grab something with both hands especially when they are tight. It was a little sad having to leave my friends even though I will come back when I'm confirmed. Right after confirmation class, my family left to go to Nanna and Papa's house in Forney. During the drive my mom heard a sound coming from the wheel. On the next day my dad and my Papa took a look at the car and found out that one bolt was coming off. If that would have happened a wheel would've come off and we would of been stranded during the drive to Amarillo. Thank goodness they fixed it because that would have sucked! Later on my Nanna made me chicken fried steak with a strawberry cake topped with strawberry icing (which my mom made) for my sixteenth birthday. Everything tasted awesome! The next day we started heading towards Wichital Falls for a nice break from sitting in the car. So we took a walk at Lucy Park to find the waterfalls. Once we found the waterfalls, my mom took some pictures of me, Caleryn and my dad sitting by the waterfall. Then we headed to Amarillo. We found a hotel and stayed for the night. The air conditioner in our room sounded like it was an animal squealing in pain! It was so annoying! Unbelievably, Caleryn slept through all of the commotion. Eventually after half of the night of being sleepless my dad finally asked the help desk to see if we could switch rooms. The new room we moved to was much more peaceful. The next day we ate breakfast at Cracker Barrel and I had a burger and fries because I'm not a big fan of eating breakfast but I will, if I have to. After all of us ate, we stopped at a route 66 store. What I bought is a t-shirt that shows the rout of route 66 on the map. The next stop we made was at  Cadillac Ranch. I didn't get to go and see the up side down cars up close because my mechanical wheelchair wouldn't be able to go over the cattle guard and they were in the middle of a big field; so Caleryn and my dad went over there to take some pictures. From there to a little past the border of Texas was all desert. We could see buttes and plateaus. After we finally got out of Texas and into New Mexico the landscape started to change. It started to become hilly and we saw more trees. We saw a sign along the road saying that the elevation was already 6,000 feet above sea level and signs along the road that said "watch out for bears"! My head started to hurt but every time my parents asked me if my head is hurting, I said no because I don't like complain. Why? Maybe because I don't want to deal with the trouble of speaking in the car where it's hard for my mom to look at my lips and I will most likely get interrupted by Caleryn; or because I am not a milenial or "snowflake", I don't want to be a guy who complains all of the time just to get his way. Also, my head wasn't hurting too bad anyway. So I just took a nap hoping my headache would go away when I woke up and it did. We were going to drive up to see the crest of Capulin Volcano but had to turn around because we were just 10 minutes late from them closing the drive up. Anyway, when we finally got to Colorado it started to become cold and windy. The drive was awesome because I could see snow capped mountains off in the distance. Caleryn was super excited to see snow for the first time. So my dad stopped the car on the side of the road and let Caleryn play in the snow for a little bit. When we left she started crying because she wanted to play longer, so my dad gave her a snowball to hold on to to calm her down. We decided to stay at a hotel in Colorado Springs for the night since none of our furniture had gotten to the apartment yet. On Sunday morning we made our way to the apartment in Lakewood because the movers was going to be there around noon (one day early)! I felt sorry for the movers because they had to move all of our future all the way to the fifth floor. The thing that I was most excited about getting back was my F-5 power chair. I desperately needed my tray back because it is sturdy and doesn't move around unlike the iPad holder on the mechanical wheelchair that I had to use. The movers had to come the next day too because they forgot some stuff and had to take the rest to our storage unit. It is pretty hard to move around with all of the boxes in the apartment, so my mom has been unpacking everything and my dad has been gathering truck full loads of boxes to the trash container in the car garage daily. I think that the biggest change to my dad's new job is that he can come home for lunch now because he's so close and he's home at 5 now, which is awesome instead of having to drive for and hour and a half. I can't really say what I like about Colorado quite yet because lately the weather hasn't been the greatest and we haven't done any outdoor activities yet but we will once we get used to altitude though.

My physical therapist, Allen

Allen has been my physical therapist for about two and a half years now. He has been my all time favorite physical therapist because he was not just a physical therapist but a good friend. He is very knowledgeable when it comes to knowing what tricks I'm going to do next. Sometimes it can be annoying but it is better to do the exercises the right way instead of cheating. The exercises he makes me do isn't the ordinary "baby exercises" that all therapist try either, these are hard because I actually have to move around, like walking in my walker outside on the grass or riding my bike around the neighborhood. Most of the exercises is a magnification of some kind of movement to walking. What was really cool, and I've mentioned it before, but he helped me swim with new under water headgear with out my floaties. He taught me how to relax my breathing and stay calm under water. He's kinda like the therapy whisperer. He always trains new therapists and when they aren't doing things correctly, he will calmly instruct them how to change things up so that I don't fall. Allen is also a funny guy. He likes to say the word "dude" when I do something wrong. It is funny to me and my mom because of the way he says it. The sad thing is that I won't have therapy with him anymore because of the move to Colorado. Hopefully I will have a therapist like Allen up there once my parents get everything situated.

My new mechanical wheelchair/I officially have the F-Five power chair

The mechanical chair is going to be used to go to restaurants and confirmation class. What's convenient about the new chair is that I can drive it and it's light enough so my Mom can lift it (kinda) into the car. Another cool thing is that it can fold up and be put into a rolling bag (for traveling on a plane. I feel safer in this chair rather than my old red push chair because I'm not so worried about tipping the chair over when I startle. In fact, we did a test to see if I even startle at all when we ate at Mamacitas and I didn't, even when somebody accidentally dropped a plate on the floor. I got used to the mechanical wheelchair pretty fast because it drives like my Strike Force power chair. Meanwhile, the F-Five power is a beast!! The power chair took me a few weeks to get used to because I kept on hitting the walls with the back handles, so my dad took them off. After that, it was so much easier to drive it around the house. I still think that I'm definitely going to have trouble maneuvering around the apartment. The guy who brought the chair to me said that it can go up to seven miles per hour! I haven't gone full speed yet but I'm sure that I will freak out once I do. My favorite part about the chair is that it came with a tray so I can eat while standing up and I can adjust it diangly for my iPad. Another cool thing about the chair is that I can wake up in the morning, get into it and either lay back or even better, stand it up, so my movements will go away. Unfortunately, I can't do the getting into the chair part because the seat is a lot higher than my old power chair. So I have to call my mom and I sometimes hate doing that. That is only problem about the F-Five power chair and it is ginormous. The way i would get into my old power chair was probably not the prettiest but it worked. I would get out of bed, crawl to my chair, get into kneeling position, grab onto the arm rest for stability, and then stood up and sat down. All and all the F-Five power chair and the mechanical wheelchair are very helpful to me and to my parents, they are going to make our lives a lot easier and I'm grateful for that!!

Advantages and Disadvantages of cerebral palsy #2

Advantages:

• I get to drive around in a monster truck (my power chair) all the time instead of boring old walking because sometimes driving off road in a power chair can be kinda fun. 
• A little closer to God than normal people. Even though when I was just a little kid I would sometimes get mad at God for putting me in this situation but now I don't do that anymore. 
• I am a chick magnet. :) 

Disadvantages:

• Every morning I have movements and they are very annoying! That is probably the one thing that I wish I never had to deal with! 
• My hands are like two Venus Fly Traps especially if I'm sitting by a girl with her hair down. What I mean is that I might startle and accidentally grab her hair and start panicking because I can't let go instantly and the more I try to pry my hand open, the harder I grab!
• This brings me to my third disadvantage, startling. I have four types of consequences after starting, number 1, I slump over or even fall out of my chair, number 2, I get my hand stuck between something, number 3, I might hit something and it falls on the ground and the fourth consequence is that I might accidentally grab something, like hair! Sometimes I feel sorry for girls.  

My faith life

Back when I was younger, I think I was kinda depressed because I didn't quite understand why God put me in this situation. I kept on saying that I wanted to die and go to heaven. Not realizing that if I actually would have done it I would go to the burning place instead of being with Jesus (which is what I really wanted). My mom would cry every time I said that. Now if I look back on that, I think that is probably the dumbest thing I said in my entire life. Even though I still think I'm not good enough for God sometimes, at least it doesn't consume my mind like it used to. Most disabled people learn how to adapt to their situation. In fact, I learned how to put on my clothes on the floor. I think that suicide is never going to be the best choice because all it does is set you up for more pain. Sometimes I would get sad because I heard a song on the radio, like "Hallelujah", "Silent Night" or "Over the Rainbow". To me, for some reason, those songs seem so sad. It took me about eight years to listen to those three songs without getting emotional. The biggest challenge I will have is to never loose faith in God. This also applies to able-bodied people too, especially when they're in college. This is why I'm definitely going to a Christian college. Later on in my life, I became addicted to praying. I felt like I had to pray every night in order to satisfy God. I also had some prayer cards on the wall beside my bed but eventually my mom took them off because I kept on startling and would accidentally grab the cards off the wall and poke myself with the taks. The reason why I like to pray at nighttime is because it's quiet and I'm alone with God. The problem with praying at night is that sometimes I will start a prayer and then I fall asleep in the middle of it. If I could rate my prayer, I would rate it a seven out of ten because my vocabulary isn't the greatest and I get distracted a lot. Even after the confirmation retreat, I still don't pray as much as I used to and I'm totally okay with that because the amount of times I used to pray every night is really ridiculous. I would pray up to ten times a night! I guess I'm a work in progress.

What I learned from confirmation is that you don't have to do something extraordinary to enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus is only asking us to be nice, that's all. And if you want to give something you have to somebody who doesn't, don't do it because you want to look like you're a generous person. I consider that being prideful and really you just counter-acted the good deed. Do it because you feel that it is the right thing to do. The second thing I learned, Jesus is always going to be by your side but you have to accept Him into your life because He will not force himself upon you.

The Confirmation Retreat

Last Friday I went to the confirmation retreat. My group was pretty happy that I was able to come. The first thing that my group did was dance. I wanted to let my dance moves out but I just couldn't. It takes a while for me to have enough courage to get out of my comfort zone in front of people. While they were all dancing around me, I was imaging that if I could walk I would so re-enact the Saturday Night Live comic when Sally 'O Malley goes "stretch, kick, stretch, I'm 50". That would be hilarious! About twenty minutes later, a speaker came out and talked about how much God loves each and every one of us individually. He then asked the Holy Spirit to give the teens a vision of God's love. I visioned I was at a forest on a dirt trail and I could see Jesus was way off to the distance. Then I asked Jesus to come closer and as soon as I said that, he hugged me. Around midnight everybody went to their cabins and my dad and me slept in the adult lodge.

The next day me and my dad woke up at six thirty fully rested. For breakfast we had pancakes, eggs and sausage links. I am not a big fan of eggs but everything else was pretty good. You can tell you're eating good pancakes if you don't have to pour suryup on it. Afterwards, all of kids headed towards the pavilion to play a game. It was kinda funny watching them because they looked like a bunch of dorks! Next they went to the field and played sharks and minoes. All I did is just watch them on top of a hill and honestly I so wanted to say "run Forrest run!" every time someone ran past me trying to get to the other side of the field before a shark sees them. The funnest activity my group did is the tug a war. As soon as I found out that we're going to do tug a war, I said to myself, "Hey, maybe I can pull the rope with my mule" (my power chair). Mike (one of the teachers of the group) somehow read my mind and tied the rope to the back of my chair. Unfortunately, he tied it to the left side of the chair instead of the center and the chair was skidding on the pavement! Also the boys were outnumbered by the girls. It was like six boys to eight girls. In fact, the girls were actually pulling my chair! Ms. Jeanne was worried that the chair might flip backwards and I could feel the chair starting to go backwards but I don't think that it was even close to tipping over. The day is jam packed with activities, worship, eating, examination of conscience, adoration, mass, confession with Father Tom, dancing and a lot of prayer. We had a 2 hr downtime and I was so exhausted that I just took a nap! The best part of the day for me was probably the worship. When the music came on I was looking around to see if anybody was watching me and thankfully nobody was. For me that is my que to start singing. It takes a lot of confidence to sing because I don't like people hearing my dull voice. I think that is probably the most out of my comfort zone. The last thing my group did that night is read letters. Some of the letters I received mentioned how great of a smile I have. All and all, they were all very nice letters and I enjoyed them, especially the one from my mom. She also sent a little gift of a necklace with my new patron saint Blessed Herman the Cripple to protect me.

On the last day, my dad and I had to leave early so that my dad can go home and pack the rest of his stuff for the flight to Colorado for his first day of his new job; but before that, the whole campus watched a slide show. I was in two photos and each time a photo of me came up, the crowd roared! I was like, "Am I really this special. Boy, thank goodness I didn't startle or even have a heart attack! That would be embarrassing!" After that, all of us came together for a big group photo.  Next, we took another picture with just my confirmation group. Sadly, I didn't really feel like smiling, so my smile was kind of fake. Before I had to leave, Ms. Jeanne, Mike, Kaylie, Amanda and Ethan wanted to take a picture with me. Now this time my smile was better. When my dad and I drove out, I felt sad because I had a little crush on Kaylie and I absolutely DO NOT want to repeat this sentence ever again! Even though I knew I was still going to see her every Wednesday night. I was impacted by the retreat because I didn't really feel like playing iPad after school for three or four days! I have never done that at home, only at Camp Blessings! I'm kinda disappointed that I can only do this once in my life because the whole experience is just amazing and I will probably never forget this moment in my life.

Top reasons why I am so blessed!

1. Four days ago, my mom got a call from Gina at Numotion saying that United Health care just approved the F-5 power chair!! We were astonished that they approved it even when we were told several times that it would most likely not be approved because I already have a manual stander and walker. What's nice about it is that I can possibly have the chair in the apartment so that I can eat at the bar area while standing up. If that happens, we won't have to bring our kitchen table because it will take up a lot of space. I think that it will take about ten days before I get the chair but I'm so excited!  
2. People are interested in the house and we are able to sell some of Caleryn's nicer toys she doesn't play with anymore and we've been filling up the goodwill store with stuff all throughout the house. I was able to give some of my old equipment to Alan, my therapist, so he can use them on other kids who need help.
3. My dad is going into a good company who I believe also has really good insurance for me.
4. l am able to finish confirmation before I go to Colorado with people I've known for years instead of starting all over in a new state and I have awesome teachers!
5. My parents are not too stressed out about the move. They are actually pretty excited. 
6. I am grateful for my sister even though she's a wild beast she makes me laugh all the time.  
7. My parents found a completely accessible apartment, which is very rare. 
8. I am grateful that I can spend a weekend with my dad during the confirmation retreat before he leaves. 
9. I am happy that my dad found a power soccer team in Colorado that I can join.
10. I am blessed that we are all healthy.
    
11. I am thankful that our helper/tutor, Victoria, is going to be moving to Colorado as well so she can keep working with us!